This year has been huge for me. The earthquake that shakes the foundations. The volcanic eruption that renews the soil. The forest fire that sweeps the ground clean. There has been unbearable pain, heartbreak, grief. I lost my beautiful lover, and I ended my marriage to a good and kind man. There has been despair.
But then there has been growth. Learning and changing and finding new strength. Seeing my son through his third open heart surgery, finding I enjoy parenting alone and living alone, finding I can manage my emotions without a life partner, finding I can cope.
And after the growth, the adventures. Travel, new experiences, new sports, new friends, new lovers. A new job, new clients, learning new skills. And making my home my own, a place that I love, my sanctuary.
My parents have been amazing. My therapist and GP have been so helpful. My children have humbled me with their maturity and understanding. And they have driven me crazy as only a 7 and 5 year old can and should.
But the bedrock of this year has been my friends. I knew they were incredible people. But with all of my writing skill I genuinely cannot articulate just how fortunate I am to have these men and women in my life. They have never once made me feel they are tired of my bullshit, or unwilling to listen to yet more of my heartbreak. Not once, not one single time, have I felt alone. Those of you reading this who know who you are, thank you. From the bottom of my heart. They say you find your tribe. Well my god my tribe could take over the world.
So I find myself at the end of this year in a much better place from where I started it. A fledgling business, a new man in my life, lots of exciting plans for the future and a feeling of contentment. I hope that the end of this year finds you all in a good place as well. Please take excellent care of yourselves.
To 2019! May we continue to rise.
Heartmummy Musings 